Season 4
Episode 8 - Once a Hero
Tony: “The human body is a finely tuned engine; none more finely tuned than mine. Even the best engine needs oil.”
Episode 19 - Grace Period
Abby: “Technically that was a squatting hug, or a ‘squg’, if you will”
Gibbs: “It could have been us every single damn day of the week. Sometimes it has been. You want to worry about something? Worry about tomorrow.”
Season 5
Episode 3 - Ex-File
Ducky: “Only the dead know the true meaning of patience”
Episode 6 - Chimera
Gibbs: “‘Almost’ only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”
Episode 16 - Recoil
Ziva: “Die, you stupid machine!”
McGee: “She seems unphased.”
DiNozzo: “Those are standard Mossad-style copy machine assault tactics, McGee.”
Season 6
Episode 2 - Agent Afloat
Tony: “That’s the wacky nature of these cases. They’re sort of like cheap luggage; you think they’re closed, and then - bam - you hit a curb, lose a wheel, and they open up all over again.”
Episode 4 - Heartland
Jackson Gibbs: “You give people a chance, they might surprise you.”
Episode 11 - Silent Night
Abby: “I love everything about Christmas. Well, except that chipmunk song. And shopping.”
Season 7
Episode 1 - Truth or Consequences
Tony: “I believe a man is as big as what he is seeking.”
Tony: “Not only are you wrong, but you’re wrong at the top of your voice.”
Tony: “Must be a lonely place to sit at the top of the pyramid. Not to mention— a wee bit uncomfortable.”
Tony: “Show me someone who doesn’t complain about their boss — they’re either lying or they’re unemployed.”
Tony: “Is that all you know? Ah, that’s all you can tell me. I got it. You know, in Arabic, the word for ‘desert’ is ‘sahara’, so ‘Sahara Desert’ is actually ‘desert desert’. A lot of sand.”
Episode 4 - Good Cop, Bad Cop
Tony: “You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness. It’s a vicious circle.”
Episode 6 - Outlaws and In-Laws
Vance: “You think the grandparents can work this out?”
Gibbs: “My dad told me a story once, dates back maybe 30 years after the civil war. My great-great-grandmother and grandfather had fathers that fought on either side. These two old warriors, they probably shot at each other on the battlefield. They couldn't even look at each other at their own kids’ wedding. But they did come to live with each other in the same house. And they spent every day for the rest of their lives on the front porch, in a couple of wicker rocking chairs, rocking back and forth.”
Vance: “Here’s hoping. We got better things to do than be the Franks’ family counselor. I guess they worked out their differences? Your relatives? They mellowed with time, right?”
Gibbs: “Way I heard it, those two never said a word.”
Episode 11 - Ignition
Ziva: “What is the range?”
McGee: “Almost a kilometer”
Tony: “I don’t speak Canadian”
Episode 12 - Flesh and Blood
Tony: “Sometimes it’s better to keep what you know to yourself.”
Episode 13 - Jet Lag
Ziva: “I think it would look better in black and white.”
(only time I’ve seen NCIS break the 4th wall)
Season 8
Episode 8 - Enemies Foreign
Eli David: “This is incredible. Pretzel with peanut butter inside. Truly American ingenuity.”
Episode 9 - Enemies Domestic
Eli: “There have been times I felt the job take a piece from me. I worry they may be gone forever.”
Ziva: “Sometimes, life … surprises you.”
Eli: “Those are the moments worth living for.”
Episode 24 - Pyramid
Gibbs: “If she gets hurt, you answer to me.”
Kort: “Is he threatening me, Director?”
Vance: “If he wasn't, I am”
Season 9
Episode 1 - Nature of the Beast
Rachel: “Looks like the vest saved your life.”
Tony: “You could say I’m well in-vest-ed. In vest we trust. Go vest, young man!”
SECNAV Jarvis (talking about golf): “It’s a game about patience. Taking every element into account. Just when you think you’re in control- you’re not.”
Tony: “Are you gonna talk in metaphor for the rest of the round, sir? Cause, if so, I’m gonna need a few more beers.”
Ziva: “Well, I have put in some time for my vacation. You never know; maybe our paths will cross.”
Tony: “Ah, where are you going? You know, there’s a new app that tells you where every Cracker Barrel in the country is.”
Vance: “Jarvis can do what he wants. It’s his navy.”
Gibbs: “It’s his navy. It’s my team.”
Episode 4 - Enemy on the Hill
Gibbs: “Family’s more than just DNA”
Season 11
Episode 13 - Double Back
Rachel: “In case you hadn't heard, that's a really good desk.”
Bishop: “Did you know the agent who sat here before?”
Rachel: “I knew both of them.”